Writing portfolio sample

Description: this Term I was in Troy's writing group. Troy showed us a video about how the make tennis balls as the video was playing we had to write down thing that they reminded us of. But instead of just using those and writing a story it couldn't relate to tennis so my ideas were serena William pies because the material looked like pastry so pies and my last idea was perfect cause the chucked away the tennis balls that weren't good away. 

Here is the video of what we watched.

http://thekidshouldseethis.com/post/how-to-make-a-tennis-ball

here is my writing 

evaluation: I think I did well at my description because it was very descriptive and very happy with my writing.

feedbackfeedfoward: I think you did a good ob on adding detail and making it interesting to read. Next time you could make it longer and more funny! -Zara